Kickaz begins……

blogI had always grown up with one main goal in my life: I wanted to be happy! It was a great start for a goal but I was not there yet because it was vague. I went to university with the intention to become a doctor, because well, doctors make money and growing up poor my parents thought money is the ultimate dream. I found myself trapped in that reality, I hated going to classes and I was unhappy. The Kickaz smile that everyone talks about was non existent. One day before my last exam I realized I didn’t want that for myself anymore and I started pursuing other interests, that initially were thought to be a waste of time according to my parents.

Body painting was one of them. The second I did my first gig I knew, art was where I belonged. Despite barely getting by as a starving artist, the joy the work gave me made me feel like I was in the right track to accomplishing my life time goal. It wasn’t always easy when I would see 20 dollars in my bank account, when rent was due the next day. I did make it however and I got by alright. As time went by I made more and more money and I was finally able to pay my bills doing what I enjoyed.

One day out of boredom, I encountered a site called myfreecams. Β I thought to myself, well, I could use this to procrastinate and just chat with people. I never in my life thought I would actually become a webcam model. So I gave it a try. My first day I just chatted for about an hour or two and made balloon animals. Everything seemed fine and the “crazy perverted people” of camsites turned out to be very nice and welcoming. Nothing sexual went on and I was able to make 4 dollars. I never thought a year later it would have been my main and only “job” because I didn’t think I was capable of making any money on the site. It wasn’t until I figured out that I could have used the site to share my true real passion with the world. So I did my first body paint show and it was a success. That was enough for me to give it a more serious thought and consider staying on the site.

I used to watch a lot of the top models, secretly admiring them and thinking of them as Β the mini celebrities of the world wide web. I would see tips flowing in their room and watching their smile and joy was enough for me to close my eyes and think: “wow, wouldn’t it be amazing to be there one day!”

And funny enough the day came that my name appeared on that list. At times I would stare at the list for minutes wondering if I was still not woken up from the dream I had a year ago. But it was real, it was me, (dat bish Kickaz was there for real)

At that moment tears of joy came out, my heart started racing and I thought to myself… “I owe this to my loyal members and friends” I still don’t know how to thank you guys enough for everything you have done for me! By that, I don’t only mean monetary help, but the respect and appreciation you have shown by being there and making me laugh, liking me for who I am, comforting me when I have been stressed and upset and growing the Kickland community to the way it is today. I think for the first time in my life I found happiness in a camsite. If you had told me that a year or two ago I would have not believed it. I looked passed the stigma of it, not everyone on the site is a “creepy perverted loser” and not every model is forced into camming. I was able to get to know real, compassionate, intelligent and amazing people. They have been both models and members.

I hope one day camming will be seen into a more positive light, because the people that refuse to see it for what it is are truly missing out.

11 Comments

  1. Strange how life goes sometimes. Just one thought like “hey – let’s chat there” and life is getting a new twist. I’m really happy for you, that it developed like this…
    For me it was not such a big turn as for you but i’m soooo glad i’ve found your room on my 2nd visit to mfc ever (i only wish it was a few month earlier). I never imagined i would find such cool guys on such a site. And wow – a girl i’m sure it would be one of or even the best friend if i she would live next to me and i would know her in real life. (ok but then i’d feel guilty perving at her – so it’s better that way ;))

  2. TehPervertAz says:

    Thank you for sharing this with us Kicka and you being happy is all the thanks I want! πŸ™‚ Congratulation on living off your fantastic art, you beautiful goof πŸ™‚

  3. beelzebubuk says:

    Congratulations for getting so far from humble beginnings. Your beautiful personality and unique goofiness shine through with everything you do so its no surprise that there are so many Kickaholics now. You are an inspiration to anyone who wants to follow their goal. I wish you all the happiness you deserve. πŸ˜€

  4. Dennis says:

    thank you for sharing, you are following your dream and it shows. your personality and off the wall antics are a great thing and it always makes one feel better being in your room

  5. mrmoo88 says:

    Glad I found you, Kicka! Your room is always fun, man. Keep on enjoying it, goof.

  6. ShaftESR says:

    Kickland proud!! So wonderful to get to spend time with such a truly incredible woman on a regular basis. And, the other members of Kickland, as well.

  7. mojo says:

    Wow, what a beautiful picture of you. I think its shows the real you.
    I hate to say it, but I think I was there on day one….I remember someone twisting balloon animals a year ago. Lol. All I remember on that day was I saw a beautiful woman, and yet was kind, caring, and intelligent.

    I will add, that I also was in college for the sciences (Biophysics) and like you my family told me money was important. I also dropped out and went to art school and I too was a starving artist. (I painted murals and various things…). I loved it, but I can relate to your “$20 in the bank account”. I remember I was so poor I had a coffee can of change one weekend and needed to eat, and was having a hard time getting a client to pay me. So I went to the store with my coffee can…..I could either buy a half pound of chicken or a can of flee powder with my money (I had a flee problem as I had a cat that had gotten in my bed and flees were everywhere). I bought the flee powder, so I went hungry but I slept well. Lol….now thats called poor!

    I later went into graphics design, then web design, then back to school and into IT and now make a six figure salary and it worked out. But those days are character-building. Im still an artist today in my free time and love it. So, I appreciate your courage and desire to fulfill your dreams. That is what life is about and happiness is not always tied to money. Its true! Its tied to what’s in your heart. And Im glad you are finding that. So, thanks for sharing your story with us.

    I have enjoyed getting to know you, and your room has a great group. You deserve the best and I am so happy for your success!

  8. Grandpapy2 says:

    Beautiful person inside is what really counts and Kicka you are that

  9. A beautifully written profile, well sequenced and sensitive, honest and giving. There is much more than a Kickaz smile behind that persona. You give of your heart, you respond to and greet everyone and give everyone a chance and an opportunity to know you. Having the gift of Art is unique and you share that gift without motive or obligation.

    You also have the rare ability to keep up with a very fast moving chat covering many subjects, many requests and many questions while keeping agitators in check. You are also able to control overall action with ease and stay on your plan for the day while being flexible to go with the flow…… But most unique is your ability to think on your feet and keep the excitement high…

    Few can do what you do, few would be able to keep a cool and calm demeanor, even when you don’t feel well. In the months I have been a visitor to your room I have learned about this incredible worldly well versed multilingual woman who can capture an audience like few can, just with a word, an action or a smile. You have the very wonderful talent of being able to communicate and that is the most important aspect of success. This is a communication business and that is the number one requirement needed…Keep doing what you do because you do it so very well…

  10. bigozone says:

    you’ve achieved more in attaining your main goal in such a short time, and beyond that you’ve motivated me to actually start working out and do something to make myself happy instead of waiting around for happiness to find me. Kicka, for that, i am extremely thankful. Oh and the paint shows are fun too πŸ˜‰

  11. Ferd says:

    It couldn’t have happened to a nicer person! πŸ™‚

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