The ten commandments of camming

1. Thou shalt work a max of 20h a month

The secret to a successful camgirl is to cam as little as possible in order to not miss out on all the beautiful things that happen in your non camming life. Out of 720 h a month you have a full 700 h to get high, go shopping, troll on twitter, order unhealthy but really tasty take out food and masturbate. Humans that work more than 20h a month may suffer from deep psychological problems such as having a schedule and gaining enough money to secure their future. As nice as it may sound this reduces the amount of adrenaline you get from every late bill that you can’t pay. The lifestyle of living paycheck to paycheck is regarded in high demand in today’s society so working more than you need to will be detrimental. Make sure you get enough credit to get a nice comfy couch.

2. Thou shalt buy the biggest most expensive phone

Ever wonder why some camgirls are more successful than others. It’s because they use tools to grow their business. Buying the biggest phone your credit can afford will give you enough entertainment and help you not have to put up with all those idiots on the internet that expect you to entertain them for free. After all you are god’s gift to men and they should just throw you money because no other woman has a golden pussy and tits like yours, so please download all the games you can on your phone and keep talking to your boyfriend during broadcast hours to aid with the boredom that now dominates your room. After all it’s the members fault that no one is talking, so fuck em!

3. Thou shalt ban anyone that doesn’t give you all their money.

Fuck those guys that contribute to your chat and don’t tip. Or worse sit in your room and say nothing. You cannot possibly tolerate members having fun or worse having your room gain more exposure by ranking you in the top 10 rooms. Make sure you check everyone’s tokens and if they don’t tip them to you ban them immediately. If they chat and don’t tip ban them also and the worse kind, if they don’t chat nor do they tip ban them forever. After all who wants to have that extra boost of traffic to get even more freeloaders right. You want your room to have as little people as possible.

4. Thou shalt sell everything for cheap

You know the real reason why you are not gaining success? It could be because charging 1000 tokens for your double penetration videos. No one want’s to pay for porn anymore so please charge less. A good amount would be 1-2 tokens per video. That equals out to be about 5 cents, however now that you have 10 people in your room after banning all the “freeloaders” you can be guaranteed that 100% of your room will buy those videos. What other business can say they sell to 100% of their potential clients. You are a fucking mogul girl. Keep that work up!

To add more free time to your life (look up 1st commandment) please invest as little as possible in the making of your videos. The ideal situation is to ask one of your annoying regulars to record your show and then sell it. After all he would do anything for you right?

5. Thou shall spend everything on the BEST because you deserve the BEST

You know people say that with camming you can live anywhere in the world in order to be able to lower your cost of living. Fuck those people. Who want’s to live in the suburbs or in countries where they don’t speak New Yorken, Torontonian, or Londoneeze. You don’t want to be seen living in the shitty parts of this places either. Please rent the most expensive place you can right in the heart of town. After all being in the center of the most expensive and booming economies should help you with your camming career. Guys can tell when a girl is sophisticated enough from where they live. So go for the best location. Make sure to furnish your apartment with the best rented furniture in town as well.

Aside from picking the most expensive location, one must spend all their money on hand bags, brand name clothes, $2000 or more bras because no one would tip you if they found out your bra was from Target. Guys can tell which women have real class by what they wear, not how they act in our industry. After all we are all sex workers and as long as the men are fapping to our perfectly dressed bodies they will also empty their wallets.

Also make sure to get the most expensive leased sports car with the worst possible mileage you can afford and drive around town or even better post pictures of you in it on your social media so everyone knows how fucking successful you are.

6. Thou shall not worry about savings and retirement until you are 55

Camming is empowering as hell because we can get people to pay our bills. As the goddess that you are, you don’t have to worry about the scarcity of men out there because guys are desperate. That means you can spend all you make and money is going to keep rolling in every month. You have proven records of this from the three months of camming that you have done since you started. The process of setting up a bank account and researching about financial planning is likely to give you a headache. Part of camming being empowering is that you don’t have to worry about shit. And you know what else, some of us will look sexy forever and cam until 60 years old.

7. Thou shall hate on all the people that make more money than you.

There is no fucking way someone that is less attractive, more fat and less charming than you can make more than you especially when they don’t even take off their clothes. If they do they are using very shady ways to make their tokens and most likely they are lying to one big tipper or having sex with them. They just happened to get lucky getting that tipper and you can’t wait to see them fail. The fact that they are one of those damaged people that work more than 20h a month makes you giggle a little bit inside. Think about all the best parties they missed while you were able to enjoy the best recreational drugs and top shelf liquor surrounded by young attractive guys. They had to sit on a webcam room full of losers for hours. The best way to help you get new tippers is to spread new rumors about these girls so they can’t work anymore, because once they are gone all their guys will come running to you. After all they deserve it, so don’t feel bad about it.

8. Thou shall invest most of your time into getting social media followers. Followers= money and success

The real successful girls in this industry are seen and admired by many. Make sure you can get as many eyes on you by tweeting free nude pictures or even better pictures of you taking your boyfriend’s dick. The fact that they are “freeloaders” doesn’t bother you as much because look at all the likes making you famous. I mean who doesn’t want to become internet famous right? On top of that make sure they never see you on cam, because they may start to be suspicious of the photoshop you used to tweak your photos. You want them to think you are PERFECT, after all you are as close to perfect as it can be.

9.  Thou shall make your members feel guilty when they don’t tip you after you have complained you couldn’t pay your rent or go on that vacation you always wanted.

Guys are good for one thing: giving you money when you need it. If you are falling behind on your rent, it can’t be possibly your fault because men are brought in this planet to provide for women. Make sure to really tell them how awful they are when they miss those payments to you. Also make sure to remind them when pay period is, so all you have to do is show up twice a month on the 15th and the 30th and push those tokens. You need that money quick and they must give it to you.

Also in order for you to provide top level entertainment it’s necessary to go to 5 star resorts to relax from all those hours of local partying you are doing. You need a new scene to shine as a bar star so make those idiots pay for it, and if they don’t, emotionally black mail them.

10. You shall get started in porn because camming is for amateurs

You need to do as many scenes as you can, especially when you are 18 and just getting started. Once they look at your fucking skills and that pretty body everyone wants to help you sign contracts to sell sex toys, create your own page, and get invited to the best AVN parties. The money will flow too. I mean you may have to have sex with a few guys that you find absolutely disgusting, and put up with the pain your asshole being ripped apart from the size of their genitals, but it will be all worth it at the end. I mean look at Jenna Jameson; she’s worth millions. You may make $700 a month shooting a scene now, but once they see you, you are on your way to become the next millionaire. Fuck the rumors that say Jenna is actually bankrupt and had to have a roommate to afford her rent. Those are just porn haters.

 

One Comment

  1. Follower says:

    Kick, you are such a talented writer. I’ve followed you for many years and respect your work.
    I’ve noticed a change though.. The once funny, happy go lucky kick has been replaced with constant satire. Funny, but tiring after a while.
    Maybe it’s time to accept there are cam girls out there that aren’t intelligent enough to see camming as a business. Just let it go…..
    Everyone who knows what’s up can see you’ve achieved so much, in many smart, creative ways. I prefer the humble kick as opposed to smart arse kick.

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