I remember having my first paid job at the age of 12. It was in my mom’s office doing administration work for $2.00/hour. I know this may not seem a lot to some but I was so excited to make money for the first time in my life and I saved every penny of it for over 4 years. My parents would often ask me why I didn’t buy anything with it and I said I didn’t need anything.
Having your mom also being your boss wasn’t ideal but I really wanted to go to “work” any chance I could. I remember her telling me some days she had no work for me and I would feel slightly annoyed. This, I believe was where I realized I enjoyed work and it was the first step towards me realising I was a workaholic.
Almost a decade later, I realized the path my mother had chosen for me in life, which was to go to a top university study molecular biology and then become a doctor, wasn’t what made me happy. In fact it made me absolutely miserable!
I remember working and saying “good morning” to the senior lady that worked in the lab with me; it was only me and her there, and she would reply with “don’t talk to me right now”.
Wow, I just wanted to say good morning, I wasn’t having a long conversation to bother her, but since she had worked in that lab alone for over 25 years she was annoyed someone had sent me there to ruin her perfectly peaceful oasis. I wasn’t even a loud person, nor did I have any visitors there. After a while I realized she was teaching me things wrong on purpose so they would get rid of me and then she could go back to working on her own.
After less than a year I quit that job, I had moved out of my parents place and I realized I did not want to ever work in a hospital ever again or do anything that was related to my degree. On top of that I was absolutely BROKE and had no contact with my parents nor did I want to ask them for help.
This was the breaking point that inspired me to pursue entrepreneurship. Being 20, I saw a lot of things as black and white then. I thought I either make it creating something on my own or I will be forever broke and miserable. As much as this attitude was extreme, it was the best thing to motivate me to never back down. On top of that having a mountain of student loans, really helped make the push together with the endless stubbornness typical of 20 year olds.
I had my first business at 20. I had no idea what I was doing, but I pushed myself to take all the entrepreneurship courses I could take and use every resource I had available. I learned there are so many grants that the government gives to young people that want to be self employed and that really kickstarted my first company. I learned to network and pretend I was older because no one would take a 20 year old seriously. I would always have to lie about my job and wear ugly business suits so I wouldn’t get sexualized at work too.
I won’t tell you exactly what business it was but I was dealing with big corporations like MCDonalds, ToysRUs, The Canadian Army and other big scale organizations. I had to either know my shit or pretend like I knew it.
I wasn’t rich doing what I did then, but I was able to support myself and I managed to grow my income every year and never had a negative year, even my first year.
It wasn’t until I got out of a long term relationship and I decided to try something risquee to help me with my self esteem. I tried camming. I never thought I would have stuck with it, and it was supposed to be just to satisfy my curiosity.
Well little did I know, I became one of the most consistent camgirls in the industry. After a week or so of just doing it for fun, I realised this could be my next big business. I made an official business plan, with projections, target market analysis, long and short term goals. If I didn’t hit my goal I would keep working until I did. The knowledge I had building my other business was super valuable in helping me become a multimillionaire by the age of 26.
“if I had a million dollars….” I never thought it would be me. I remember when I saw the first $100,000 in my bank account and thinking WOW, this is crazy. I was on autopilot mode when it came to work so after that I never really paid attention to what came in there and just kept working everyday. My mind wanted to do only one thing, think about camming and how I could be the best at it. I wouldn’t say money was the biggest motivation but what truly pushed me was wanting to the top cam girl in the industry. I wanted to be the best, I wanted to be remembered. I wanted people to look up to me.
Going from having $100 in my bank account and a mountain of debt, to a multimillionaire in my mid 20s, this is what I learned:
1. Money didn’t buy me happiness
I know this is probably the most cliche and overused phrase that people love to recite but it’s true.
After all your basic necessities are taken care of, money does not necessarily enrich your overall emotional satisfaction. That is 100% your responsibility to figure it out and you can’t buy a thing to fill that void or pay someone to do it for you.
Of course you can afford to go buy plenty of things, sports cars, 5 star vacations, luxury homes and the list goes on, but those only give you temporary enjoyment. Besides splurging on some vacations, I was never into buying big ticket items, especially depreciating assets like cars.
I had beautiful homes, I had the freedom to be anywhere in the world, buy whatever clothes I wanted but I didn’t care for any of it. In fact I was constantly anxious and dissatisfied with myself, because I had this insane fear that I would lose all my money, or lose MFC rank or take a week off and thinking all my fans would forget about me and I had to start over.
I lived my last 7 years in so much stress that I felt guilty even when I tried to take the little time off I took, because in my head I didn’t deserve to take a break. It was a really negative way of thinking and living your life, however without those feelings I would have never made the net worth I had today.
I often see not so rich people reciting the same phrase “money doesn’t buy happiness” but yet live on credit card debt buying depreciating big ticket items to show off and live paycheque to paycheque. Those people may look “rich” but they have no idea what it feels to be rich, at least when we are talking about net worth. They are living this same way because deep down they have the illusion that material things will indeed make them happy, but they never do, at least long term.
2. My lovelife sucked
I was in a serious relationship with the man that I considered to be the love of my life, whom I thought we would spend our entire lives together.
I knew chances of me finding someone that made more money that I also liked and was compatible with, were very slim, so looking to date more successful men was not going to happen.
Since I had it all by then, at least monetarily I decided to date someone that made considerably less than me. In fact because of my busy work schedule it was impractical to date someone that had a 9-5 job since I was working nights and sleeping days. So me and my ex partner decided I would support the family financially and he would take care of the other things like daily errands leaving him unemployed.
It sounds like a fairytale life: having plenty of free time, a maid to clean your mess and cook for you, a gardener so you don’t have to worry about the lawn or picking up dog poop, easily available cash to buy whatever you want, access to exclusive restaurants and resorts and on top of that an attractive girlfriend that is loyal and can provide anything you need.
Well, it was a more of a nightmare. He never showed true appreciation for anything I did. I would have an amazing day on MFC making over $10,000 in one night and I wouldn’t even get a “I’m so proud of you”. He seemed more annoyed I was so happy and I wanted to go out to celebrate and all he wanted to do was play video games or sit alone on his computer.
When it was my birthday I never got a gift, even if it was something cheap hand made. I didn’t care about fancy things but I just wanted to feel loved and appreciated and to him birthdays were gay. Holidays were gay and so on.
I was an active investor in real estate, trying to secure the future of myself and my family because I knew camming has a short shelf life, and never did I get any enthusiasm or decision making from my partner. He just didn’t care about anything. Nothing impressed him anymore. He would never go and check out properties for me to find deals so I could focus on camming. I had to do it all.
I felt so lonely in that relationship and sometimes I would daydream of my partner taking charge and being more assertive but it never happened. I felt like I desperately wanted to just be a dumb housewife, with no responsibilities and let someone else worry about how to manage money, retirement funds, real estate purchases. But as time went on I realised we weren’t really a team, he would just do mundane things like shopping and show resentment and less and less appreciation towards me as every day went by. I successfully managed to raise a manchild and felt like I was his mother, despite him being 15 years older than me.
It wasn’t until we had a child that his stance towards me changed for much worse. There was new responsibilities and less play now and despite him not working and me still camming full time, he was the one that was stressed, depressed and always complaining.
I thought maybe it was the stress of being a new dad, so I decided to take him into a nice resort for a few days so we could both relax. Well he got pissed drunk and then cheated on me, in the same vacation that I thought would unite us and make us a stronger couple. I was trying to dance with him the night before he cheated on me, and he completely ignored me, just sipping on his drink with a resting bitch face. Another guest at the resort which we didn’t know said to him “Hey man, your girl has some nice moves, she wants to dance with you, go with her” I knew he was trying to help but I felt so ashamed. Even strangers were noticing how indifferent he was towards me.
Being the idiot that I was, I decided to forgive him for cheating and give him another chance. Things got progressively worse ending with him sexually abusing me, then threatening suicide because “I was the most important person in his life” then deciding having a kid and a relationship wasn’t really his calling so he left the country. There is no child support, there is no contact with the child. Didn’t even want to see him on his birthday. I still can’t explain what happened and why he all of a sudden turned into a monster. Maybe it was mental illness, maybe he just didn’t care, maybe I allowed him to treat me this way since I sheltered him from problems and he was left with nothing to chase for.
I do know however that I will NEVER support a man again. I may not find one that will make more money than me, nor do I look for it, however I do want someone to show they are invested in me. Treat me like a lady, and take control and ultimately respect me.
As much as it hurts to be used and then abandoned, I finally felt free and a big weight was lifted off my shoulders when he was gone.
I was still scared as hell having to raise a child by myself, but I will not lie, the money I had saved over the years, really helped make me feel less stressed about what will happen to me and my son.
However betrayal hurts, money or no money. And that part the money didn’t fix one bit.
Would it have been any different if we both did a 9-5 job and both and contributed half of the bills. I think yes! But I am not cut to be a good employee and being my own boss is who I am. Sadly that part comes with stresses and incompatibility in lifestyle with most people that are in my dating pool. I am ok with knowing I am not compatible with everyone.
3. Being wealthy/successful is time consuming, way more than what people think
We can all agree having money in the bank gives you a lot more freedom than not having it, but just because you have it, it doesn’t mean that you choose to utilize this freedom to just sit back and do nothing all day. Although some days you can and it won’t impact you negatively, unless you are like me and feel guilty about taking time off, then you are just self sabotaging.
First of all, in order for me to rank every single month I had to forget about my freedom to kick back and relax. I was on autopilot mode everyday! Stress ruled my life but I kinda felt like I could not get out of that circle because I felt providing and being at the top was my purpose. Without a purpose I felt depressed and useless.
On top of that when you accumulate assets you need to protect them, manage them. You need to start hiring people to do stuff for you and learn how to delegate and protect yourself. If you do this poorly, your net worth can easily decrease just as fast or way faster than it was made.
Because I knew my career as a camgirl would be short, although going on 7 years is way more that I imagined I could last in the industry and still be relevant, it is still a very short career compared to most. If I don’t make this money work for me now, I will easily find myself broke and unemployable at 60. I have no 401K retirement accounts because I need to access my money before the age of 55, so I designed my own retirement plan. On top of the stress from camming I had to spend time self learning about markets worrying about potential crashes, studying real estate investing and spending a stupid amount of useless time on retirement calculators finding out if my money would last me a lifetime. And I still don’t know if it will.
Going back to point number 2, after realising I had lived my life focusing on making others happy (entertaining my room and giving constant emotional and financial support to someone who I thought had my back), it was my time I indulged in some self loving. I stopped working full time on January 2019. It wasn’t a premeditated decision. It just kinda happened. I woke up one day and I didn’t care anymore about providing. I just wanted to be that housewife with no responsibilities.
I am now trying to spend more time with my son, trying to meet friends, going to the gym and not just doing it because I have to “look good for cam” but because I enjoy it. Going to bed at a healthy time and getting enough hours of sleep. Getting property managers to take care of my properties and taking less responsibility.
I know this may sound cheesy but those things I wrote above made me feel way richer than seeing a multi million numerical figure in my bank account.
My life may not have turned out how I imagined it about being a single mother, but with every moment going by I realize how much richer I am to have had him. I was never a typical motherly woman, nor did I really like children, but this one changed me. I still don’t like other people’s children though 😛
4. It’s very easy to feel lonely and hated for simply having money or being successful
First of all we all like to put people in boxes. If someone is a single mother, we most likely associate them with being broke and looking for a man to maintain them and their kid.
When we think of a camgirl we think of someone that is morally corrupt, usually not very smart and that is prostituting themselves for money being taken advantage of sleazy men and then ending up broke with a drug habit.
Sadly a lot of people that have no idea what camming means still think that. Little does society know that to be a top camgirl you need to have the skills of a successful business owner, the discipline of a high caliber athlete and the creativity of a TV producer. I am not saying my shows are the same as a well budgeted TV show, however if I had to stay relevant for many years, I could not let my shows get boring or else people would just forget about you and move on to the next camgirl. There is only so many things one can do on cam on their own.
I have never done anything sexual on cam or off cam where I felt forced. In fact my shows weren’t even focusing on the sex part at all, despite society thinking we all get nickles shoving up 10 dildos up our asses. I had 100% control of my shows and I was in love with my job. Fucking proud of it actually, and it made me smile everyday someone told me they enjoyed my show.
Now, when you try to explain this to a “civilian” aka someone that thinks of camming as “poor used girls sticking dildos” and nothing more, they will automatically judge you. So when I tried to make new friends I tried to keep my career as vague as possible. I don’t need someone to know every details of what I do, but constantly having to worry about what you say to people for fear of judging you makes personal relationships less genuine.
Combine that with 7 years of doing only camming and pursuing no other interests and it makes it weird as fuck trying to meet people you have things in common with.
On the other side, the “camming community” or the “coworkers” were not any better. A lot of people will simply hate you because you are doing better than them. I had people get happy when I got very ill and couldn’t cam anymore.
“It’s lonely at the top”
In such a cut throat competitive industry you have to watch out what information you say to anyone because someone, somewhere will try to use that against you, just for the mere pleasure of seeing you fail. Jealousy is part of human emotions, however people that are truly successful don’t let it consume their lives but focus on how to better their performance instead.
When another camgirl gets a big tip you can think two things:
- “fucking bitch! why did she get that, she’s not even that pretty and entertaining as I am…” so you can focus on this jealousy to consume you and make you miserable. Some people take it as far as harassing the other camgirl because in an industry where in the average age is 23, most have the emotional maturity of a dry pile of dog shit.
- “holy shit, what a tip! Ok if she could get that tip and she’s not even as good as I am, that means I have a chance” so you focus on bettering your shows and doing more hours so big tippers can notice you next. You are happy she got that tip because that’s an indication that there are big tippers out there and one of them will be yours one day. But not many think this way.
Going back to explain the loneliness point, being a self made multimillionaire in your 20s puts you in less than 0.1% of the population, especially considering age into the equation. Now my lifestyle didn’t drastically change when I got wealthy (although for some people it does), I still have to make sure people close to me don’t have this information because people tend to see you differently when they know you have money.
Some men get intimidated when you make or have more money than them. Some people tend to automatically hate you just by knowing your net worth and nothing more about you, because they firmly believe that rich people have no real problems and if only they were in their shoes they would know how to find happiness.
The answer to that is: look at lottery winner’s statistics; most people that come into money fast without creating it from zero end up wasting it and go back to being broke. So really, money didn’t fix all their problems, it just created more.
5. Banks are the biggest seediest institutions on earth (maybe after organized religion) and they will rip you off even if you are rich
So you want to get paid for your hard earned work. Oh no you can’t, we will freeze that money because it raises flags just because it’s not a typical amount for your age.
“You don’t look that smart and old enough to have all this money” said one of the bank representatives when I asked to make a wire for a house I was purchasing. She told me my account was “frozen” and she refused to do the transfer, for no fucking reason! I had been a client with that bank for over 4 years, with no issues until the moment I was trying to take money out.
I then hired the same lawyer representing the bank’s CEO (it was a fluke how I found her) and the worker’s attitude completely changed when a call was made to her boss asking why she lied about my funds being frozen, when they weren’t. This cost me thousands in lawyer’s fees, hotel accommodations and flights and time off work. Not to mention the toll it took on my mental health.
Sometimes they will close your account simply because they find out you are in the “adult business”, despite what you do being absolutely legal. It happened to me. Oh and they won’t say why because they know you are still doing a legal business, but also legally they don’t have to say why because they are private institutions. They can legally say no for any fucking reason, sometimes for no reason at all.
Banks that are known for doing all sorts of dodgy things, can’t “morally” accept you as a client, but cleaning all the dirty drug money is ok. Hello HSBC :wink
The fact that I was treated as a criminal, despite not being one, completely consumed my mental health. It made me realize not to trust banks and now I am putting more and more faith into parking my money into real estate.
That still comes with a whole set of problems on its own such as liquidity, higher taxes and constant maintenance, however at the end of the day you know you don’t have to depend on some corrupt organization to “protect” your money, until they decide they want to freeze it for no fucking reason.
6. There will always be richer people than you
If you associate your wealth with how much stuff you can accumulate, then you will notice there will always be people that have better cars than you, fancier homes than you, more expensive clothes than you and so on.
Luckily for me, doing a job that is so isolating means that I never really was in the same social circles as those people, nor did I want to be. Maybe if I had a job where in order to make my wealth I had to socialize with equally high net worth individuals my decision would have been different.
However I have always grown up with the belief that excessive luxury is weakness. I was afraid I would get too accustomed to it and then see it affect my life like it was a drug addiction so I stayed away from it.
I don’t want to make myself sound like I have never splurged. I have of course. Maybe not by the standards of Bill Gates, but I have never stopped myself to go to nice restaurants or stay in nice hotels.
I don’t need to do it all the time, however I did it because the atmosphere relaxed me and gave me the mental strength to go back and work harder because I felt better.
I could care less to go to a place because I had to be seen with the crowd there. I didn’t care about buying fancy clothes or fancy cars and would often leave my house wearing crocs from walmart, cheap comfortable clothes and no makeup because I didn’t have to prove anything to anyone anymore. It was a liberating feeling not having to give a fuck about how you look. Success boosted my confidence in that end and I am happy for it.
I would however sometimes read up about self made billionaires that were also really young and temporarily I would feel like what I had achieved was nothing in comparison. But not knowing any of those people personally, made that feeling go away very quick, and it turned it more into a feeling of admiration than worthlessness.